Who put those bumps in your road? Take a look in the mirror. It’s you! Of course, you never imagined your family commitments, community activism, work dedication, and overall desire to serve others could be keeping you from serving yourself.
I hear you saying: “But I love my life, and I love what I do. I am fulfilled by my passions and service to others.” Really? You’re fulfilling something, but it’s probably not yourself and your own needs. Please don’t feel taken back by this revelation. There are many factors involved in WHY those bumps are on your road. Think about the following. Do you recognize any of these?
- When you’re feeling needed, do you determine if the need is real?
- When you want to use your extra time to help others, ask yourself: How you could use that time for you?
- You seldom say “no” to others. Why is it okay to let yourself down frequently?
- You support the vulnerability of others and tend to help them all you can. Why do you feel selfish when you help and support yourself?
- You have a lean on me mindset. You feel it’s your responsibility to be responsible for others. What responsibility do you take for your needs?
These are all wonderful attributes, but are they giving YOU what YOU need? It’s amazing that we give more love and attention to others than we give to ourselves. You can’t mouth the words: I’m being overworked or overloaded when you’re overworking and overloading yourself. There will be bumps in the road—but you shouldn’t be the one placing them there.
Simply put: Start the new year right! Lose some bumps! Gain some YOU! Just get out of your own way! That’s positive aging!
Pat Landaker is a Certified Senior Advisor (CSA) and owner of Living La Vida Senior, Ageless Aging, and CSA Senior Solutions. She serves on the American Society on Aging’s Social Impact and Innovation Council and the CSA’s Certification Council. She also teaches Positive Aging at UNLV/OLLI. Visit www.patlandakerAGEncy.com or email her at contact@livinglavidasenior.com.